Welcome to Ronson's World

Working Life

2007-08-31T00:12:00.000+08:00

stepping out in the working world..

Set up my own business..

walking a different path from my peers..

its about passion and the opportunities u gave ursef..

its about choices.. the courage to walk away from the main path

i like the way i run my life now.. although its taking a big toll of me

i found a meaning .. though i do feel surreal at times

those are times that i challenge myself..

i still believe in myself..

i guess thats the only way we keep faith

Graduation

2007-08-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

Convocation 2007

The final step

My Bestest Mates in NTU, John and Fiona.. The Zhang Family
My Brother JOHN
Lovely FIONA

BM 214 Project mate: Xinyan

My Nemesis in Yr 3 Sem 2, CHRISTY

Business Plan Competition Mates : Julyn & Dominque

Fellow Commandos : Alan & Junfeng

Fellow ABC : XIAOMIN

Services Marketing Project Mate: CHENG LING

My ex Subcommer!: RACHEL

Great Friend : Wenya

Hall 2 : HUIHSIEN

Marketing : ROSE

Loireans : Joscelyn & FIONA

Lovely times in NTU... Thank you

2007-06-13T01:24:00.000+08:00

my mother tell me that my father is very hardworking in his younger days
throughout these fews days.. i have been thinking.. actually in life.. all we seek is not only money and luxuries. I know in my life, i want to achieve something in my life.. something meaningful, may not be something really great but at least something to match my conscience.

seriously, right now.. i have a goal...

I wan to achieve it

2007-05-15T00:56:00.000+08:00

I love you...

thats all i need to know...

i cant describe this feeling..

all i know is that i want you for life..

to be with me .. through wealth n woes

i really miss you and need you

Something to ponder about

2007-05-04T13:36:00.000+08:00

Your Name and my Name are Names
Why your name and my name are different...

hahaha..

jialat.. getting more n more lame...

too bored...

Exams over...WOO HOO

2007-03-25T04:26:00.000+08:00

i dunno wat is happening..
all i noe this is not the first time im experiencing this
m i asking myself too much?
or isit somewhere tat i din do well enough

i dun seem to understand tat how some things are going
or rather to suppress everything inside me
m i juz being too paranoid
or isit tat i juz cant catch up reality...

i reali dunno anything

2007-03-05T01:59:00.000+08:00

as time goes by,
it is funny to see how my life has passed me by
to see that everything , right and wrong...
somehow at this stage, i juz feel tat to understand this world...
is more than everything, more than anything
the paradox of everything, of life...
the unpredictability
nobody can tell u wat to do...
nobody can help u

well.. its pretty heartless...

2007-02-25T17:16:00.000+08:00

food at mandarin oriental at 37th storey

playing in the snow

Japan Trip over the CNY

2007-02-25T17:03:00.000+08:00

the family in first class
Tokyo from 38th storey of Mandarin Oriental Hotel

Japan 2007

it was a beautiful country with beautiful people

clean n tidy, polite

u got to pay for its service

but its worth it definitely...

i used to think that snow is a juz like raindrops

but then to see it n touch it myself

i realise its even more than rain drops

it carry a person's worries away

n bring back his memories

in the snow land of Japan

me n mummy in hokkaido

Leaving on a Jet plane

2007-02-15T16:02:00.000+08:00

We’ve created a spacious cabin with more personal space.

By reducing the number of SkySuites* from 16 to 12, we’ve created an atmosphere of total privacy, offering you more room to stretch out, get comfortable, and indulge in all that our First Class has to offer.

Beyond a seat, our SkySuites are custom-crafted with your comfort and expectation in mind. Indulge with fine wines and cuisine from around the world while you relax in your leather seat.
World-class service, luxurious amenities, turn-down service, and exceptional entertainment make your travels a pleasure. Experience the exclusive cabin aboard our B747s, and discover more of what Singapore Airlines has to offer.

Leaving for Japan during CNY...

See you guys when im back!

Sayonara

2007-02-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

February....

a month that means 2

Valentine's day is on 14th February

it means = 2 x 7 = 14, 1+1= 2

following will be Chinese New Year

my favourite festival .. coz there will be plenty of goodies n ang baos...
oso time to see relatives and friends whom i only see once in a year...
as we grow up, its seems that ur social circle juz become smaller n smaller...

life has been normal.. nothing much interesting..
dun even noe how to put it into words..
final year in ntu is not gg to end with a bang..
its juz gg to be a quiet n low profile show...

anyway.. guitar is good, the food is good, soccer is good...
becoming fat is bad, sleeping late is bad..

its juz about good and bad, isnt it?

2007-01-30T13:57:00.000+08:00

Revenue Management vs Expense Management

I need to understand this concept

have u ever come across this situation?
you went out with a full wallet n u juz pay n pay
then when u get home n u chk ur wallet during the cab ride home..
u find all the cash still there...
However a week later, the credit card bill came n u got a SURPRISE!

I should try to understand that im still a student
Impulsive buying behaviour is getting on me...

but anyway, i juz bought a guitar n to continue my dream to serenade
or rather to create noise in the quiet neighbourhood

School is a bore.. explain y m i blogging in a class now.. : Service Marketing
not as in the lessons are reali tat bad but rather the heart is not here anymore...

Time flies n its the Final Year..or rather the final 8 weeks remaining of active school time..

as my friend say tat everyone is juz trying to be careful to graduate in peace n find a good job..
No more flamboyant displays or late night outings.. we are over that period
Now all the talks are juz on ' did u go for interviews?" " what is the latest development to the job market"

Life is juz so different now.. i guess all of us have to grow up in time...

this is the time

2007-01-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

feeling reali drained now...

its the addition of everything and anything

well break is over n its work time...

looking forward for the next trip...

n let me present Eileen...
for my friends.. there she is...
hehehe...

thank you for the joy tat u bring ot my life

2007-01-11T01:12:00.000+08:00

again.. my final night in Singapore yet again...
tomorrow will be at bangkok..

however, this time round.. im feeling mixed up
because im leaving someone precious behind

thank you for the night n the present..
it reali make me teared when i read the note
what touches me most is the sweetness of you
and i know i will miss you very much

take good care... i will be back before you know it

2007-01-08T22:29:00.000+08:00

today is my 1st guitar lesson..
been wanting to pick it up 10 years ago..
maybe procastinating is not a good thing..
or is it that a special person din come along to give me the courage to do it?

but well.. today.. i went..
n this special person is with me..

without you.. i maybe just a man...
with you.. im complete

thinking of u make me realise how much u mean to me
how much i can reali miss someone..
u bring a whole new meaning to me..
thank you...

2007-01-08T01:47:00.000+08:00

"I never imagined that i can be with someone like you
Obstacles will come in future,
But i wish we can go through it together, and i know we will
I'm looking forward to a future with us walking hand in hand
Every moment spent with you is just so lovely
Sometimes it doesn't mean i don't care when i don't say some things
But deep down inside me, i know that that you're the one i want to be with...
Let us walk into the future together regardless of any obstacles we will meet..."

Life is precious n short... I cherish every moment.. every single one..
Ive been thru n I noe... although im wary but i stayed unfazed
Even if it is gg to be as difficult..we will see it out
Nothing is impossible... with u right beside me

Thank you

I dunno how to describe but you know i know..

If there can only be one moment.. i hope this moment will freeze for us

even if it doesnt.. im sure we will

2007-01-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

the 5th day of Year 2007

come to think of it...

everyday is a special day to me...
it seems to me that year 2007 is gg to be a great year...

1stly... it is the PIG's Year... so those born in 1983.. .REJOICE!

i do believe that things do come n go in life..
its reali very true n amazing that things juz happen
but i do believe they happen for a reason..
so put away the fears... the drawbacks...
embrace each day with a big hug..n a smile...

its amazing how we met...
both of us do not know how it started..
but both of us noe it has begun..
a new beginning.. a new journey..

friends out there.. reading this...
the happiest times in life are always here...
even in the lowest points in life..
it will never bring u down...

stay happy always n let us welcome a brand new year...

A new Beginning

2007-01-02T00:40:00.000+08:00

Happy NEW YEAR 2007

I missed countdown...missed the fireworks..

but there is certainly something i din miss...its you

its a great start...

like an aeroplane.. taking off..
to a great journey...

like the ripples on the water

a great night to remember...

you know who you are...

2006-12-30T02:54:00.000+08:00

i dunno how to describe this feeling right now..
it somehow gave me away n pull me back..
kinda heartwrenching coz i noe tat some things are within my control yet im afraid to grasp
to fight an internal battle within all over again..

im tinking alot..tinking too much...or rather shelving it
m i the one? shd i be the one? could i be the one?
to give myself the things i wan in my life or isit juz pure illusion tat maybe or perhaps that everything will fall into place in time
will I ever see tat?
wat is wrong.?

A walk to remember

2006-12-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

its been long since i had such a long walk..
a long walk in the cold of Beijing
a long walk in the wet of Singapore
the sights of 2 cities
the beauty of the night

it gave me a really warm feeling
it was also with a special company..
this make this all possible

A walk to remember

2006-12-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

2006-12-28T03:12:00.000+08:00

I am loving the weather
embracing in a little warmth in the midst of this coldness
enjoying the cool breeze
watching the rain drops
cherishing the rare sunrays among the grey skies
...

the weather set everything juz right
wondering did i bring winter over to Singapore from Beijing
living in pure simplicity
basic needs... anything extra is bonus

staying true to love n life

Back from Beijing

2006-12-26T00:35:00.000+08:00

I wore 4 layers of clothing....
Met Eftoni at Hard Rock Cafe Beijing
Standing in front of Ancient Beijing

My Grandma n me at The Great Wall
A Snapshot of how Minus 6 degree celsius look like
The Majestic Great Wall
Countdown to the Olympics
Before becoming a Hero

Frozen Weather... However i saw the other side of mankind

the ancient capital of China

our roots...

2006-12-18T00:23:00.000+08:00

Today is a cold day..
a cold night
my last night in Singapore for 5 days...

well 5 days not too long, not too short
hope it will be enough to freeze my heart...
a heart tat is wild n roaming
a heart tat shd be dead...

i love the feeling of seeing Singapore 1 last time..
i love the feeling of flying away

juz away...

the irony of life

2006-12-16T11:14:00.000+08:00

Life is strange isnt it...
there are times when u hit a reali good streak n everything is going in ur way
then all of a sudden, u juz fall .. n when u fall, things happen to hit u even harder...

dreams turn into nightmares,
reality became a fear, something u dread
something u no longer look forward when u wake up...

i noe running away is not gg to solve the problem
but taking a backseat oso give u a chance to think about it
in a different perspective..

maybe wat u believe is not right in the beginning
but yet u forced ur thoughts
u forced ur emotions to be the way u wan them to be

its hard to be a human being afterall

2006-12-02T01:43:00.000+08:00

why do even dreams have to torture me?
is it that difficult to get my life back on track?
why does everything have to change?

can i juz drop everything n run away?

juz away.. far far away from all these..

2006-11-25T14:46:00.000+08:00

i tin this is a big joke...
being trying to face it ...
but it always hit u at ur most unexpected moment..
it juz wan to come back n haunt u
not allowing u to live properly, not allowing u to breathe properly
y would pple be so merciless.?
y would everything have to crumble when its on the way to its top?
or m i juz letting it to affect me when i should not be?
shd i take a backseat to see how things unfold itself?
what shd i do?

A night where all my thoughts come back

2006-11-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

today is a nite where all my thoughts caught up with me...
its like sweetness + bitterness all in a coffee cup
suddenly its juz like tearing me up
yet on the other side is putting my life into shape
its such a mixed feelings where everything juz turn upside down , where truth become lies
where everything juz revealed itself to me
its not a sad feeling... but cant help feeling down...
its not a happy feeling... but cant help smiling to myself
its not tat easy to describe tat feeling truly...
i dunno how to face it.. but yet im handling it...
giving me a reali hard time but yet not feeling the strain
gave up yet holding on
...
moving forward... but cant help looking back
its taking a big toll of me but im still shouldering everything on my own
not sad... not down... juz feeling tis way....
what a night....

2006-11-16T19:47:00.000+08:00

im wondering ...
how many times are there in a person's life that promises are made
how many time are they being made.. n yet broken
...
if promises are made to be broken
then y made promises?
if things tat happen for a reason...
what are the purposes for promises...

2006-11-15T12:07:00.000+08:00

1st paper...

Start earlier than all, end later than all
something muz be very wrong with the system but anyway... its ok
taking things at my own stride... its getting alright...
the route is tough however i still have to walk it...
juz hope that nothing is taking anything away....

good luck my fellow school mates...

2006-11-14T02:49:00.000+08:00

time and time again
things always happen..
its always the same old things tat keep repeating in ur life
sometimes until to the very fact... u get so tired of it.. u wan to get out of it.
i guess life is a bitch .. it juz irks u at times where u reali wish u can give it a good hard kick
but that means kicking the bucket...
anyway.. right now , im juz plain tired.... the fatigue is catching up on me...
everything is not smooth as they were... got to accept it
if there is anything tat i can do.. is to keep my chin up high...
becoz i noe tat there is someone who is waiting for me...
only at times.. u realise ur real friends... ur real love...
it might not be far..
it might juz beside u all the while...
juz not to engulf in self pity... i guess life is pretty much the same....
perhaps.. i shd not be in a position to speak of love... but then again..
i like to think that everyone has a right to be loved n love...
i like to think that everyone has a right to be happy..
its a matter of choices...
its juz so simple... n how could i let my rationale block out my emotions...
sigh... humans err..
nothing we can stop...
only way to salvage is perhaps learning from it...
given a choice... i may not have walked this route...
but until now.. i have only 1 route n tat is forward...

Forever

2006-11-13T12:06:00.000+08:00

i dun understand when pple say forever...
is it a lifetime? or eternal?
its like a flame.. can it burn forever?
U need both fuel and oxygen to keep it burning..
right, now i wan to tink that it will keep burning
however, the oxygen is taken away...
leaving the flame dead n oso suffocating me

2006-11-12T13:58:00.000+08:00

Somewhere I belong

When this began

I had nothing to say

And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me

I was confused

And I'd let it all out to find

That I'm not the only person with these things in mind

Inside of me

When all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel

Nothing to loose

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own and the fault is my own

I wanna heal I wanna feel

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I felt so long

Erase all the pain till its gone

I wanna heal I wanna feel

Like Im close to something real

I want to find something

I've wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

And I've got nothing to say

I can't believe I didnt fall right down on my face

I was confused

Looking everwhere only to find

That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind

So what am I

What do I have but negativity

Cause I cant justify the way everyone is looking at me

Nothing to loose

Nothing to gain, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own and the fault is my own

I wanna heal I wanna feel

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I felt so long

Erase all the pain til its gone

I wanna heal I wanna feel

Like Im close to something real

I want to find something Ive wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

I will never know Myself until I do this on my own

And I will never feel Anything else, until my wounds are healed

I will never be anything till I break away from me

I will break away I'll find myself today

I wanna heal I wanna feel

What I thought was never real

I want to let go of the pain I felt so long

Erase all the pain till it's gone

I wanna heal I wanna feel

Like Im close to something real

I want to find something Ive wanted all along

Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal I wanna feel

I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong

I wanna heal I wanna feel

I wanna feel like I'm somewhere I belong

Somewhere I belong

2006-11-12T04:04:00.000+08:00

Its funny how things will turn out in ways that you will never expect.
Its really like divinity at its work
and the vicious cycle of life is present in its most simple way
things that i dun understand turn out to be felt by myself
in a way , it gave me a chance to accept things for they are
in another way, there is also a dilemma of what is going to happen next
Nobody tell the future or even so as things begin to unfold, it seems that the mind is no longer in control
its hard to feel how u think , or to think for how u feel.
Until there is a time u can tell urself that, the time has lost its essence
sometimes i do ponder about whether is there something like perfection
or it is just another imagination that humans gave themselves hope
Its hard for another person to understand how u really feel
when u start to build a wall to block out everyone
juz when u tot someone is even close, u build it higher
little ironies of life...
at the time where everything seems so perfect, juz 1 little thing went wrong , the whole wall collapse..
its no longer a matter of worthiness, commitment.
it can juz be a moment of folly or rather a question of ur own beliefs..
i do wonder when pple learn, did they evolve from who they are or they extend from who they are..
if change is imminent, then y do it work on opposite sides?

2006-11-11T04:27:00.000+08:00

Now is 4.20 am....
the most difficult time of a night
it is so real when u r all alone facing ur own thoughts..
ur own feelings...
ur ownself....

2006-11-10T10:50:00.000+08:00

have been slumping into indecision nowadays
been walking ard the house in circles,
been walking on the streets in circles
....
a moment of laughter
a moment of sadness
a moment of longing
a moment of numbness
...
its hard to really tell how a person is feeling becoz I myself dun even noe how im feeling
its like how hard u try, there is some force stopping u from feeling.. some barriers but still u dun wan to give up trying until u hit the wall.

I guess I learnt the hard way...

2006-11-09T12:21:00.000+08:00

枫

乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
Dark clouds cast a shadow over our hearts
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
I listen intently to the feelings that have long been silenced
清晰透明
Distinct and clear
就像美丽的风景
Just like a beautiful landscape
总在回忆里才看得清
That can only be clearly seen in one's memories
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
Can a heart that's been thoroughly wounded continue to love me?
我用力牵起没温度的双手
I tried hard to hold (your) cold hands
过往温柔
The tenderness in the past
已经被时间上锁
Is locked in time
只剩挥散不去的难过
All that's left are sadness that cannot be dispersed
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
Longing is like maple leaves, slowly drifting down
我点燃烛光温暖岁末的秋天
I light a candle to warm this year-end's autumn
极光掠夺天边
The aurora steals across the horizon
北风掠过想你的容颜
The north wind flits across the face that's thinking of you
我把爱烧成了落叶
Ashes from my burning heart falls like leaves
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
But I can never regain (your) familiar face again
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
Longing is like maple leaves, slowly drifting down
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
Why must I try to recover all before winter arrives?
爱你穿越时间
My love for you transcends all time
两行来自秋末的眼泪
Two streams of tears that were shed for the autumn's end
让爱渗透了地面
Let the love flood through
我要的只是你在我身边
I just want you by my side
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
Can a heart that's been thoroughly wounded continue to love me?
我用力牵起没温度的双手
I tried hard to hold (your) cold hands
过往温柔
The tenderness in the past
已经被时间上锁
Is locked in time
只剩挥散不去的难过
All that's left are sadness that cannot be dispersed
在山腰间飘逸的红雨
The lush mountainside forest
随著北风凋零
Withers in the North Wind
我轻轻摇曳风铃
I sway the windchime gently
想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
Attempting to awaken this abandoned love
雪花已铺满了地
Snowflakes have already covered the ground
深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰
Fearing that the maple leaves outside the window are already frozen

2006-11-09T05:42:00.000+08:00

My bro's nick " Its funny that humans can be so merciless"
My nick " if my eyes can see, why din they tell me?"
....
well, often we are twisted by fate, by life, by everything...
some things u feel that is right at the moment doesnt seems rite to u now...
some things u feel like doing it but now u feel disgusted by it...
i guess the irony in life brought us into a lot of contradictions to ourselves...
it never seems to have a best time for everything
it oso never seems like there is a continuity in everything...
humans change over time.. things change over time..
feelings change.. love changes...
but 1 thing i noe for sure tat will never change ... ur belief....
there are a lot of pple who lost their faith in a certain thing... they try to run away from it... thinking it will never catch up with them however they are wrong.. they din chose to believe it in the 1st place.... tats y they lose faith...

someone told me' love is sacrifice.. if there is no love, there is no sacrifice'
i wonder how true it is.... when u completely love a person.. u gave in to everything.. u make him/her happy.. u change...then after a while.. u decide tat is not who u are.. u regret giving in...then u say tat love has faded... is it reali love can juz fade over time... or is it juz plain selfishness? then wat is true love?

sometimes i wonder... is everyone living in false illusion or escaping reality?

if judgement was made at the cross... nobody shd be suffering..but y still there is suffering?

the more i accept reality, the more i tink that its no worth for it

2006-11-07T11:43:00.000+08:00

This Ain't A Love Song
-Bon Jovi

I should have seen it coming when roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye
Baby, ain't it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
You're really on your knees, when you think you're standing
tall
But only fools are "know-it-alls" and I played
that fool for you
I cried and I cried
There were nights that died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy,
baby
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song
Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime but
We were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind
Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade
You and I were the renegades, some things never change
It made me so mad 'cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it's so sad that whatever we had, ain't worth saving
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I've cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't no love song
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

2006-11-07T08:23:00.000+08:00

i was awoken up by a terrible nightmare
they say if u tink too much, it evolve into dreams
if u r too negative, it evolve into nightmares
i dreamt about you,
i dreamt about you 1 year before
why do they clash now?

2006-11-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

every step i take is juz another mistake to u
even when the going reali get tough, the more u try to resist, the more resistent it gets...
sometime in life, u reali wan to grab hold on something but then again, the more u try to get it, the more it run away from u.. i guess fate is 1 good example.

I held on becoz i noe n i believe in it... too much of it make me too focused on the future n not looking at the present.. although u try to make things work again.. the feelings are gone... is it really true tat feelings can juz disappear like tat? or is it tat it cant even stand the test of time? why does it have to happen when a person is super low in his life? is it his luck or wat...

now i understand that bad things come in a bundle...it never end until it get more, it end when it shd end until it take away everything from u and for u to rebuild tat life back again with ur 2 hands

2006-11-06T01:38:00.000+08:00

Its interesting to know more about pple... recently, i have been talking to a lot of pple.. pple whom i din talked with for a long while.. i realised how much have i missed out..anyway my life has a void now.. i noe i can achieve everything in my life but still there is nothing i can do about this void.. its waiting for somebody to complete my life... but anyway... the focus need to be changed...I noe something are never meant to be but then again.. timing is all it take to make things worse.. for now... i juz have to keep on believing in fate..

Life is still unfair... but then again.. Doraemon n Peter Pan are here

2006-11-06T01:15:00.000+08:00

This is the picture I like
It shows a man in pain
A man who have pain.. still carry on
for the things he believe in, for the things he want to have

He still have his worth...

2006-11-05T07:17:00.000+08:00

There are some points in life where you feel down , pressurized by everything around you.. you feel like giving up but ur brain and ur mind is fighting a battle. one to say let go, one to say stop, which one to listen to ? you claimed to do the right thing but is there ever a right thing in life to do? what is right , what is wrong ... or is it something as simple as following your heart? juz do when u like it ? if not then juz try doing something that u tin it will work? or it wun? do u make ur mind suppress of all the emotions that u originally feel? do u give ursef a false impression that this is the right thing to do? do u do what ur mind tell u or what ur brain tell u? is emotions guiding the mind or the rationale guiding the heart? what is what? im so confused... Life is not smooth sailing , i noe tat ... n there are pple out there juz trying to undo u from ur current life... to disrupt for what they want ? what is their motive? cant a person live with moral obligations? can u tell ur heart to stop loving? y are there so many questions in life? im still puzzled as much as disturbed...

2006-11-03T00:15:00.000+08:00

for the 1st time in my life,
I kneel down to the altar in my house
I ask Buddha, wat is happening?
Y is this happening?

I asked for forgiveness
I asked for hope
I asked for punishment
I asked for your happiness

She din really tell me much
She looked into me
She tell to my heart

She want this to continue
She will punish me
She will give u happiness
for once, i really feel so amazed
...
i could feel the change in me
i juz feel so much trust in u
i reali felt tat i have changed
i have changed to understand all of this, to understand you
the support for u in me is boundless..
too much to be described..

I guess divinity and love work in mysterious ways

2006-11-02T17:02:00.000+08:00

2 people meet at the cross road...
they are happy and blissful
they feel that the whole world is at their feet
then to turn out... there are differences
Is differences really that difficult to be untangled?
to llove n live with somebody.. giving up ursef or accomodating to each other
is it a balance thingy again?
both will feel tiredness and dun wan to continue anymore.
Is this tiredness really unable to be revived?
Is love something that cannot be rekindled?
Is it when 1 party say goodbye, the other party can really accept it?

I feel that with perseverence, we can definitely see this out
we can see this bad patch out
but somehow my view is not being accepted
is it that our love is so brittle tat it cant withstand the test ?
or is it there is no way to give time for each other for another chance?
is it we are juz getting impatient with each other or us?
u wan to let go, n i have to see u go..
do u noe u took the smile on my face away with u?
u took the smile in my heart with u?
i accept ur view not because i agree with u, its because i love u...
Does agreement and love can live together?

...
Im reali upset for the things to turn out this way...
this is never meant to be like tat
but then again, i have to accept it
whatever will come will come..
I still believe that we have a future together
we are juz on 2 curving converging lines, we met once .. there will be another time

2006-10-30T00:39:00.000+08:00

My van's tyre punctured on my way back home ytd
so i took it to the nearest petrol kiosk..
before that , a fellow driver already warned me about my tyre tat is leaking
but i chose to put it down to the petrol kiosk after a long time...
come to think about it...
its juz like love,,,
You never think there will be a day ur tyre will be punctured or the thought that u have to change it
then u keep gng until even when someone warn u tat its gng to burst...
u chose ur own judgement that it can still hold out
then when it reali happen, u panicked...
u dunno wat to do but to bring to the petrol kiosk.. then u tot there will be pple helping u
but u cant even borrow a bolt spanner from them , to be even helping u
U noe by then there is only 1 way is to search for the tools in the car n the spare tyre.
then u can change the tyre. u noe tat the only way to get out of this situation is to do it ursef.
there is oso a feeling involved... if u r too eager to change it, it will become a bigger mess.. rather than tat, i chose to handle it calmly, happily n feeling proud of mysef.
with tat , the problem is solved faster, without any help...
its more than changing a tyre to make ursef happy.. its reali more than tat

2006-10-24T00:48:00.000+08:00

It was a terrible week
I lost a friend
My grandma was hospitalised
My work is affected
I feel sick
Baby n I have differences
My whole family fell sick
......................

this is a reali black black week
i felt so numb
tat pain din catch up with me
only when i was alone sitting down,
i felt it hitting me
right at my heart... tearing me apart
until that i reali wan to give everything up
its like u have been building ur life ard something
suddenly it juz collapse n there is nothing u can do abt it?
do u choose to ignore? or did u grieve?
wat is the better way??
i felt i have lost my direction already..
I do need a helping hand to pll me out of this quicksand
coz sometime when hurt come together.. it is reali devastating..

.....................
i reali hope watever happen would be like haze , juz blow it away n it will not linger
we always have each other...remember our promise..
we shall build a life together

21st October 2006

2006-10-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

My 23rd Birthday!!!

Baby gave me a hand stitched Pillow case then drove me off to various places for food n friends....

1st stop : Ang Mo Kio Ave 4 hawker Centre... we had coffee n tou suan

then... to KOVAN Hawker Centre.. I was reali impatient... then i saw....JOEY!!! my SP.... so surprised tat baby actually planned for my friends to meet me for a meal... Joey gave me a FIR cd which i reali love it lotsa...

Next Up is Julyn and Dominique at Toa Payoh Lorong 1 for the Hokkien Prawn Mee...

After tat , I drove to Marina South Pier where we have some iced tea at this reali nice cafe....

Dinner was at Aliwah Street at El Sheikh with Kebah.. of coz my closest Pals... Fiona, John and Alex... I tot they are gng to give me boxers.. hahaha

Wang Lee Hom rox it to the highest point of the day with a fabulous performance at the indoor stadium... and to Bukit Timah for some Prata Action with my Brother, Sister in Law and Sister!!!

Thanks guys for making all of this possible... n oso all the SMS birthday wishes...u r all the best...and Baby... thank you for making this a wonderful birthday for me..i noe that for the past few weeks, we havent been feeling good n we have problems.. but i hope u will remember watever there is , we always have each other for support..

John n Fiona.. we only have each other for now....FYP is gng to be a success ok!!! we can DO IT!!!

Joey: thanks so much for making it down.. reali appreciate it.. esp for our very special friendship...

Julyn n Dominique... The 2 funniest and most adorable ppl u will reali wan to work with.. thanks!!! juz love to bicker with both of u.. hahha

Zura, Haze: i noe its hard to meet up... but Hari Raya is here!!!

Everyone...THANK YOU

2006-09-22T01:50:00.000+08:00

ooh...
Looks like its gng to be the end of september soon
n my school days are numbered..
anyway rite now,, its numbered... 3 days per week..
n in fact i dun even spend more time on studies than in work..
i guess john is rite... i lvoe wat im doing now.. thats my passion..
i find pple struggling with things in their lives...
trying to find a balance...
or rather finding tat passion...
they did it for the sake of doing it...
have they ever wonder what are they doing?..
anyway... taking a break out of the busy schedule, i enjoy talking to old friends...
pple whom i reali haben seen... n its a good thing to get back on track with them...
its a nice round table dinner with baby's cooking n company from Angela, Fiona, John n Joey...
I love gatherings especially with ppl close to my heart...
of coz my baby whom i haben had time for u..
Sorry for the time taken up but u noe its for the betterment for our future...
For my friends... take good care out there!

sunday night/monday morning

2006-08-28T00:44:00.000+08:00

time passes really fast, its gng to be end of August and September...
it means graduation is coming...
this semester is juz a brand new me starting a brand new life
or rather living a brand new piece

Somehow i see myself toiling for my future
in preparation to take on things that are to come
in the midst of all these,
i do learn new things
n also realise new values in life...

Life is still unfair no matter what it is

New semester

2006-08-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

The new semester have started..
though i have 3 days week but the rest of them will be filled with work n FYP...
anyway, raine have blogged abt our taiwan trip n im too lazy to do it... shall do it when im free...
meanwhile, look at hers first..
http://phantasmmask.blogspot.com/

all my friends,.. JIAyou n take care

2006-08-09T02:57:00.000+08:00

Juz came back from taiwan,
being there for 8 days with baby, my sis n Grandma..
suddenly it feel weird to be back in Singapore.
as i always say, Singapore is a safe place to stay in
but to live in it, it is difficult.
i guess its equally the same for all the big cities in the world.
sometime i wonder if i can take it if im living in the countryside,
rearing cows, pigs, hearing the birds chirp in the morning..
oso fearing attacks from wild animals like bears or tigers.
the environment play a part.
Life in a big city is fast paced, never a slot for relaxation.
it is not a place tat accomodate failure
tats y its stressful, n its driving pple mad
driving pple to believe in money, speed n efficiency.
Rather i felt Singaporeans are pampered ..
we are protected by govt, by parents, by friends , by everyone.
we dun feel the pains from the past
all we feel is the fear of getting pains.
we always take things as our view becoz in fact we never grow out of our view
we din see things that pple see
or rather we chose to see things tat we want ot see.
sometimes isit fair to a person to express his views when the very fact that in the listeners' hearts , he is already ignored?
isit possible tat we can live once n be happy?
or rather be happy with what u possessed now?
can we do tat?
men's greed know no bounds, isit true?
i guess i shd start to accept the fact tat nobody is perfect n myself is not spared either.
its an obstacle for another level, but its getting on my nerves.

1 OG is born, 1 OG is gone

2006-07-25T18:12:00.000+08:00

FOC 2004..Loire

FOC 2005..Charoite

FOC 2006..Hygeia

As i say i OG is born, 1 OG is gone...
looking back FOC, its the only time when u can go out n play,
for 5 full days without stopping
making ursef stupid
but u gain friends, companions...
for me, i do learn a lot abt mysef thru this
it oso show me that things are not as easy as wat it seems to be
anyway 2 years have passed and another new OG is here..
its time for me to take a back seat n start to tink abt future
coz i noe my time is up n it no longer stay at the zone where i can still play
its no longer in my control..
so kudos to the new OG...
Salute to Loire...
Thanks for all the fun n support...

2006-07-13T09:45:00.000+08:00

work up to a sucky morning...

well look on the other side, its the last 2nd day of my PA
before long, i will say goodbye to the internship
to the work, the low pay but the fun
sometimes i tot to myself, will i ever get to know true friends
in such a short notice
but then again i was proven wrong,
at least they stick with me when i feel sucky, dejected.
...
then again, i tin again
at the ppl ard me..
when i sigh, do they noe the reason y
when im down, do they noe how to pick me up
i dun wan to expect any more coz even when i dun, i get nothing out of it
i lost mysef in wanting more, or juz giving more
i dunno

Im tagged to do this

2006-07-06T17:22:00.000+08:00

rules1. do the following WITHOUT complaints.
2. choose 5 people to do this after you've completed yours.
3. leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged.
4. start your post with a "i've been tagged" then do this...

favourites
favourite colour: Blue
favourite food: Homecooked, Prawns, fried chicken.
favorite song(s): Hotel California by the Eagles
favourite movie: just like heaven
favourite sport: soccer
favourite day of the week: fridays.
favourite season: Spring
favourite ice-cream: those mix from WALLS
currents
current mood: cranky
.current taste: nothing
current clothes: t-shirt and Jeans
current toenail: long
current time: 1725
current surroundings: RAS office
current annoyances: Everyone
current thoughts: : God, let me finish this work asap"
firsts
first best friends:Bouw Lir Dar, my neighbour
first crush: Primary 3
first movie: Jurassic Park
first lie: hmmm... Kindergarden?
lasts
last cigarette: none.
last drink (alcohol):Heinken with baby at Alley Bar
last car ride: From Giselle to lunch
last crush: Baby
last movie: cars
last phone call: This morning, called Baby
last CD played: tats very long ago sine mp3 came out

have you ever...
have you ever dated your best friend: sure, always
have you ever broken the law: yeap.. got $150 fine n 6 demerit points
have you ever been arrested: hahasee above
have you ever skinny dipped: never.
have you ever been on tv: yep.
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: dont tink so

5 things you are wearing: hmmm....
4 things you've done today: wake up, eat, work, slack
3 things you can hear right now: Giselle, Adel, Yvette's computer
1 thing you do when you're bored: Play my PS 2

Azura, Haze, Joey, Dom, Judy..u all r nex

TATS FOR U ZURA

2006-07-06T17:12:00.000+08:00

if i have to...

...make out with a female celebrity, it will be... JESSICA ALBA
...have a threesome with 2 male celebrity, it will be... BRAD PITT, ANDY LAU
...hire a chinese celebrity stripper, it will be... KELLY HU
...have a threesome with 2 female celebrity, it will be... MONICA BELLUCCI, MAGGIE Q
...french lock with a male celebrity, it will be...RAUL GONZALEZ
...hire a male celebrity stripper, it will be...DANIEL WU

ZURA..THATS FOR U

2006-06-28T10:01:00.000+08:00

its a twist of fate
or rather there are things that you dont wish to happen
murphy's law- whatever will happen wil happen
maybe im powerless to do anything abt it
or isit i lost the power to even say anything abt it?
all my life i have been trusting my eyes , my ears
they have been my strength, my loyal advisers
but when things happen, who do u trust or believe in?
your loyal friends? or people u believe in?
there is a dilemma in all of this and its not i dun wan to believe
but sometimes, the circumstances are that i cant believe in my appropriate manner
its no longer that things are simple, n they can be unsettled by the rational way or the hard way
becoz people are different, or rather we dun accept that people are different inside us
the thought is juz not us when we believe in ourselves but we have to accept others' thinking
which is more correct? i dunno anymore
its not i dun wan to believe but rather its the circumstances set it that my thoughts are otherwise
its not that i dun wan to accept but rather the hurt n pain that ive been thru is more than wat u can imagine
maybe i shd juz live with mysef all the time or rather maybe i lost mysef in the process
i lost my voice, my beliefs, my thoughts
its no longer abt the correct way of doing things
love is not a game of rules, its abt feelings
maybe i have lost in the game

My Fairlady and RX-7

2006-05-27T23:10:00.000+08:00

The Twin Terror

Mazda RX7 -R1

Nissan 350Z Fairlady

2006-05-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

A Tribute to

Mr. Wong Kiow

Our Teacher, Our Mentor, Our Friend

Words cannot describe my respect for this man

the man who stand in front of the whole assembly every evening

without fail

He is the man who uphold discipline

Education is in his blood

He is a friend to us

He encourages us to go further

I was honoured to be in his maths class

He gave us his best

...

Thank you , Sir

May you rest in peace...

2006-05-22T14:45:00.000+08:00

Its been almost a month since my last blog
..
A lot of water have flowed under the bridge
1stly, the SYDNEY trip with my baby.
the views are awesome and with the company of my baby is even better.
i come to terms with that your loved one complete every picture in your life.
The Harbour Bridge, the Opera House, the Blue Mountains, the Pacific Ocean,
I have seen them all
but a smile from baby beats them all
...
However the bad thing is that baby was hospitalised after the trip
pains my heart, seeing her in pain.
it break ur heart when things are not within ur control
when u try to help, there is nothing u can do..
Life is unfair sometimes but we have to accept it.
All you can do is juz to believe both of u can pull through
and learn to live with those who love you..
...
Attachment starts
Office work, not my type
Creativity and sitting down do not cross
I need to see things, not screens.
Everyone have their path to follow
Officework is just not me.

2006-04-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

Exams Exams Exams

the most dreaded thingy for every student
4 papers down with last one to conquer
dreaded of most ... .AA 102 aka Accounting 2/ cost management
anyway... looking toward the end of exam because its gng to be A GREAT HOLIDAY
to start with SYDNEY with baby...
well it may be a short trip but its gng to be a memorable one
seeing baby's face when i tell her...
cant imagine hers on the plane taking off...
but anyway its gng to be a great great trip..
...
anyway this semester is filled with work, projects but not to forget great project mates..
ppl i never tot could have an impact in my life
but then again they make my NTU life better
gng to YEar 3 ...
rise in ranks again..
enough reason to be a senior or i shd say the last platform of launch into the SOCIETY.
anyway, politics are not my primary concerns but then again, the spat is bad enough
n again, it change my viewpoint on an ideal world
or rather a perfect world...
i do believe that good hands are needed to support the life we r having now
n sustaining it...
...
Oil prices gng up
cost of living gng up
everything is gng to be expensive
no more $ 2 char kuay teow
...

2006-04-16T01:20:00.000+08:00

In the face of the battle,
i lost to myself
it seems my words dun carry any more meaning
my actions m beliefs
n all the make up beliefs
..
i shd not...

2006-04-16T01:12:00.000+08:00

i m afraid
n i dunno wat m i so afraid of
the past few days have been a mess
a big mess up
i dunno y
im losing faith in everything
...
i dunno where i stand anymore
n y m i having so many doubts
or the things pple hide from u
y do i have to mind everything in the 1st place
isit i care too much
or m i juz plain silly
..
but it constitute mysef
wat a person i am
n i seriously tin no reminisces of the past shd be ard anymore
but y is it resurfacing time to time again
for tat i reali hate it...
...
i tot that everything is so beautiful
but as time goes by
it became ugly
i dun like to be cheated
in any way or other
nor im a ball to be kicked around
for once , i juz feel so lonely in my world...

2006-04-08T02:45:00.000+08:00

KING KONG

watching it the 2nd time
the feeling is still as much as the 1st
for me, i feel its the greatest love story ever in the world
greater than Titanic in my sense
...
a gigantic beast fell in love with a girl he never met
or i shd say not even his own species
but love has no boundaries
not at the line of who you are
it is a feeling
a feeling greater than anything possible
it is not about how much you can show
or rather how much u can give
it is a sense
only to be felt by both
limitless,borderless
gave strength to stand up for each other
even at the stake of life
precious sacrifice for each other
..
tinking abt it,
how many true love are there in the world?
we have been reading abt cheating cases
but all of them are the negative sides
it turn ppl away n wary
but tink of it, it mite juz be the little 1 % of love stories
where the rest of 99% is never told
King Kong show his love
n i guess he is juz more than a beast

2006-04-04T12:56:00.000+08:00

it wasnt easy to sit in canteen B to wait for 4 hours
thats y im blogging away
while baby is out buying her lunch
then again, the exams are here again
time for sleepless nights..
come to think of it
half of my Uni days are gone..
tis signify the end of my Year 2
n my movment up the senior chart
before gng down in ranks when i enter Social Uni.
...
well life in singapore is pretty routine
u study half of ur life...
when u ask abt ur childhood,
half of them spent in school n homework
another half probably in piano, art lessons...
for me i grew up in Legos n Catching
No talent in Art nor Music
but pretty well, i grew up seeing the world in my eyes
in a view of my own
stumbling thru blocks and boulder..
(hell i dunno wat m i writing)
Baby is here...
she is eating her siew mai....
my favourite oso...
same with me slacking away
waiting for time to pass
suddenly school is different from watever we seek it to be
1st year tot its fun
2nd year tot i shd be serious in my work..
until then, i still struggling with accounting..
sigh
it shd be simple juz with all the maths n calculations
juz use the bloody calculator
but then again y did mankind came out with so many methods juz to count
or a 700 page textbook to tell us how to calculate cost...
not interested ....

2006-03-24T23:45:00.000+08:00

they say situations made a man
i believe in that
coz the ordeals recently drive me into a new set of thinking
i guess im gng back into my skeptical ways
about people, things and the world
well its ironic that the very same things that pull me out put me back
but then again looking at it
it cant be helped
juz like the ways of the world
or rather some things that we cant change
people we cant change
cant change the mindset
things we cant change its nature
it drive ppl crazy
it drive a wedge bte pple
it create this crack tat will exist all the time
not only for now
but for evey moment u will be in
i tot of tat
tot of giving up
giving up a fight without even trying is not my style
so i din
but then again i see wat im fighting for
it is worth it
it definitely worth it
...
yes we cant judge things at its cover
but then again u look into it
u wun wan to noe the underlying meaning
but y do pple have to have their ways
when they noe its selfish
when they noe it will be detrimental to others
but then again they insist on it
n then it bring hurt to so many others
...
all i noe im gng back to my old ways
of being so suspicious
of being skeptical
of living in tis small hole i have for mysef
but then again
i ask mysef wat drive me tat way
then i realise wat u took for serious
doesnt mean serious for others
n they judge u on cover or simply compare u to the past
where u dun belong there nor it belong here
but still they wun be given up because its human nature
then again, the world is never fair...
till then... its juz me...

2006-03-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

All bad things are imminent
no matter what are we going to do
or whatever there is going to happen
we dun have control over it
...
even there is a belief on everything
but look again,
nobody can foresee future
if he/she can, then everybody will strike 4D
...
its all up to ourselves
we wan to believe it anot
y hold onto something so dearly that u noe it might not happen
i still think that people wan to hear good things and not bad ones
...
Of course its gng to be a bad year...
for everyone...
so many modules...
so many projects..
little time..
how to do well
...
y make urself so tired to please everybody
when u cant please everyone...
y dun juz please the ppl ard u
those who u love
whose pple who love u
...
if u find urself torn apart...
look again at the subject matter....
its always abt urself
ur well being for now
or ur well being for long
tat is y no one can pull u out
but juz to decide on ur own
there is no fixed way abt doing it right
there is no textbook answers
there is only one answer
how u reali feel
...
everybody is afraid of losing someone
who dun hold on dearly to who they love
but then again... holding on doesnt mean u have to possess her
it does not work tat way
it should not
...
these few days juz bombarded by work
school is crazy
personal life is hectic
but still im sitting in front of the comp
blogging away...
im tired... yes...
my temper is short... yes
but still im the same Ronson here
i never change...
maybe some view points
but no
i din change at all..
its juz tis period
a reali hectic March
...

2006-03-08T02:27:00.000+08:00

i came across something which have been triggering my mind for a long time
something called expectations
for a moment i tot to be the best in the business
to live up to everyone's light
but in another sense, i fell in the category of unwant, undeserved
well, it cant be helped if the grey area cannot be drawn clearly
or rather it is juz another contradictary thing which we live with everyday
it is no longer the kind that those u think that it will be there when u need it
but rather a kind of rambling that u will stumble upon any moment now
i fail to understand
from the surface of it
i cannot put myself in the shoes of others to think
but instead i created a platform for myself to jump in
however, this platform seems to be higher n higher everytime i try to access to it
is it that i raise the height or the ladder to it become longer?
is it that my legs can no longer carry myself up or isit that the burden on my back is getting heavier?
....
the past few days are full of highs n lows
i guess its like this in life
where it is like a roller coaster ride
especially the moments where u noe ur life is no longer occupied by ur own
u put other's emotions in u
u feel for other
its like tat u can no longer think straight
or rather gave ursef a chance to sink in with the effect
its not harmful but its contagious
i guess it goes well with time when everything is no longer fixed
its only until the moment tat appear in ur face
then maybe light is drawn upon
but to the rest, its juz another stage that we need to get by
...
March is here n the busy month has juz started
mounted with school but also personal events.
it should be a joyous n happy month
hope everyone do feel the same

2006-03-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

~~~...Love is definitely in the air...~~~~

I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire if the furnace breaks

Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you

Kiss you

Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you

Feed you

Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink

Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink

I could be the man who grows old with you

I wanna grow old with you

2006-03-01T23:20:00.000+08:00

From This Moment On
(I do swear that I'll aways be there. I'd give anything

and everything and I will always care.

Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better or worse, I will love you with

every beat of my heart.)
From this moment life has begun

From this moment you are the oneRight beside you is where I belong

From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed

I live only for your happinessAnd for your love I'd give my last breath

From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart

Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to startYou and I will never be apart

My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I liveI will love you, I promise you this

There is nothing I wouldn't give

From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love

And you're the answer to my prayers from up aboveAll we need is just the two of us

My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I liveI will love you,

I promise you thisFrom this momentI will love you as long as I live

From this moment on

2006-02-28T00:07:00.000+08:00

it cant be described in words exactly
no im not living in a fantasy
its like sweet honey melting in your lips
the tenderness and beauty touch u everywhere u go
...
went Pulau Ubin with baby on sunday
its back to Mother Nature
the trees
the village life
n of course my baby
n not to forget the upcoming YEC ubin cycling trip
...
went celebrating Steven's birthday
Steven is Raine's brother
but he called me brother..
oops..
wats tat suppose to mean
...
oh ya
n the BIG banana Raine is holding..
got it in Kukup at 1.80 Ringit
Cheap huh... n its BIG
then Fiona went to buy a huggable Banana..
but dun have the picture...
...
anyway Baby's birthday is coming
all preparations are done...
now is the time to execute...
n im not telling you....
...
meanwhile school is starting its nonsense
n of coz the General Elections is coming.
wondering is there a holiday for it..?
hmm..
cant wait for this sem to be over

For my baby Raine

2006-02-28T00:04:00.000+08:00

Lovin' You - Minnie Riperton
Lovin' you is easy cause you're beautiful
Makin' love with you is all i wanna do
Lovin' you is more than just a dream come true
And everything that i do is out of lovin' you
La la la la la la la... do do do do do
No one else can make me feel
The colors that you bring
Stay with me while we grow old
And we will live each day in springtime
Cause lovin' you has made my life so beautiful
And every day my life is filled with lovin' you
Lovin' you i see your soul come shinin' through
And every time that we oooooh
I'm more in love with you
La la la la la la la... do do do

2006-02-26T00:19:00.000+08:00

im down n out
even u r here
it din seems to help
its all to myself
..
i reali wan to scream it out
but i cant
i wan to cry out
but i cant

2006-02-22T18:22:00.000+08:00

here is the term break..
ya right now in central library
nope not studying...
but enjoying a day out with Raine...
...
this few days have been ups n downs..
well, its only matters of heart can make a person feel like he is on a roller coaster ride..
im not excluded..
i will say trying to come to terms with some things that u know u will mind is hard
to hear it from the horse's mouth is even harder...
but look again, its been truthful n open to each other
to accept what had passed
to accept each other
to square away queries
to mould the future
..
its not like ABC where u can learn it in a sheltered way in kindergarden
this is real world
n we face it everyday
but its juz tat the bond which make it hard to accept
..
but slowly i learnt..
a person cannot be judged by the way he/she is in the past
we have to look forward
because we cannot live in the past anymore
we can only see what he/she can do in the future...
Cherish the present n look forward to future..
..
though there r times where i refuse to accept
there r times i almost gave up
but then again i realise
i wasnt feeling tat bad
it wasnt exactly pain til u drop kind
its an irritation
those come n go as they like
but slowly
they must fade
because this is doing no good
but then again..
i realise
i grew up to be stronger....
..
love isnt about anything
put it purely "love" n describe it
how will u interpret it?
..
anyway i found someone who share the same thinking with me
Valentine's day isnt the only day u shd go extra ways to show ur love
its juz a marketing ploy
as simple as that
coz love is something u noe in ur heart
it will show itself when it need to ..
for me. its juz as simple as making her happy
which i do everyday
juz to make her happy because i m happy to see her happy
juz as simple as that because u can spend millions on a dinner n diamond ring
but wat u have in return might be juz a smile on the face.. but wat abt the heart?
...
Kukup trip with friends is fun
but add Raine to make it more meaningful..
its a night of fireworks, trying out a village life , snuggle up in a foreign land with just her
its juz as simple but im happy
...
its juz as simple as u n me....
coz i believe in this bond
it exceed all limitations...
love...

2006-02-13T03:44:00.001+08:00

its been a while since i last blog
ok let me see....

1stly Chinese New Year....

yup went Australia with my family.. 1st time out with my whole family for the past 23 years...

(something wrong with uploading pictures onto the blog)

anyway CHinese New Year has always been an exciting festival not to be missed but apparently, its seems to fade with age... as we grows, the mood just seems to move from the excitement of getting angpohs n meeting relatives to sleeping at home n watching TV.... ok i can put it, its juz a period of time u can rest for a while before slogging for another year... however, its still important to me because this is the only time where we can spend time together as a family because i have been missing that since young. ayway juz here to wish everyone i love a Happy New Year ahead and all the best in the year to come.

and Yes, partly of not blogging is because of the mounting school work.. this semester is especially going through the motion... all the projects, assignments but in the end, its seems to register nothing in my brain.... but its juz a journey to go thru, it will get better i hope....

and my days seems more happier n lighthearted.. it is getting better everyday it goes..
although there are moments that the unthinkable will surface but overall, they are filled with laughter and smiles. Should attribute all this to Raine.. she had brought all this to me.. coz she understands me, listen to me and most importantly, she offer strength to carry on..... Life is not smooth sailing all the time but its less rough with her presence.. she makes me feel so comfortable that i can tell her everything which i find it difficult to do most of the time. there are times that u feel really so dependent on somebody tat u r afraid to lose her. the same thing apply here, we are afraid to lose each other...this make us cherish each other even more.. to walk the further mile for each other.. i thank God every nite for her to appear in my life and it is true that what shall happen will happen.

yup to my friends out there... sorry.. its the new year... n really too many things happening at a go... 24 hours are juz not enough...i will make it up to u all... but reali im thankful for all of u .... Zura, Haze... thanks for standing by me...
My brother, John.. now away in Shanghai
Fiona.... my Group MATE
Joey.. My SP
and so much more who had offered a hand when im in need....
more is yet to come... in the New Year....
May Angels bless each n everyone of them.... With good health and fortune... best wishes..happiness..
_______________________________________________________
" i want a kitchen with a built in oven so u can eat everything i bake"
" i want a blender, a steampot, 3 stoves, everything i need to cook for you"
"you can come home to me, massaging u and good food"
________________________________________________________

2006-02-13T03:44:00.000+08:00

2006-01-18T12:02:00.000+08:00

Saturn Motors.....
...
its seems tat my mind is more fixed on this car..... Mitsubishi Eclipse 2006

n the stupid guy is presenting now...
6 bloody presentations
all on the same thing...
im gng to love mustafa soon....

2006-01-17T22:41:00.000+08:00

it juz 1 of those days
u juz dun feel like doing anything
u juz dun feel right in the morning
u juz dun feel like saying anything
u juz dun wan to talk to anybody
...
grouchy mornings have taken a toll
stomach discomfort plaguing me
cant seems to do anything right
seems nothing is right
...
its juz 1 of those days
u feel more sensitive
edgy,fustrated,bottled up
but its ok
tomorrow is a better day
...
you too

2006-01-16T01:41:00.000+08:00

FORGET!

...

a word i shd remember

a word i had forgotten

a word i hope i can achieve

too much things in life

some meant to be forgotten

but its not doing good if i cant

it is like a prick at ur neck

poking u right in the flesh everytime u try to lie back

hope i can do it

somebody grant me strength

2006-01-14T01:32:00.000+08:00

it was a bad morning to begin with...
grouchy... din sleep well
some things are on my mind...
keep getting stronger n stronger
the more i resist
the more it rebound
...
i hate to see u tear
those sorrow tears
those i could wipe with my hands
but not with my heart
...
i gave it a good shot i guess
never i look back on 13th n regret
i hope u dun
i noe im in for sure
i could not pull myself back
for i have fallen deep
those words do pierce my heart
but i have to brave it for u
all i noe
im not gng to hurt u like anybody else did
im not the shadow u will live in it
im ur new dream
ur hope
ur love
so give me ur blessings
n hold my hands
till end...
____________________________
it is a wonder how we met n fell in love
let there be no barriers
let there be no past
only the future live in it
Our future....

2006-01-11T17:50:00.000+08:00

so the school term began ,
its another gruelling time for everyone , 4 cores + 1 that i haben cleared
...
its juz the mornings n the amount of work that is going to take a toll on me
but for every other thing i know, i shd not be troubled
kinda being too cramped up in my shell for too long,
now it seems strange to see everybody again
and of coz some irritating ppl.
...
days have been well so far, which i guess the big crunch haben arrive..
things i do worry of but still i shd let it go
worries of past is not a benefit for future...
however, it does rebounce to u that wat u expect of future may not come..
negative thoughts tat have departed me for long came back at a rush
they appear at times whn u feel tat everything is so complete, so perfect
i guess tat is self-pity or even self-remorse of lack of confidence..
its times like tis kept putting u down yet u cant let it out
a gush of pressure stuffing up in ur chest which u juz hope to scream it out.
but moments like this come at times when u cant scream, u cant cry it out but to take it at ur pace.. to put up inside u
a time bomb i guess ready to explode
but still u noe it can be defused with miracles..
i noe tat coz ive been thru
...
moments like this flashes past but memories still remain where they are
smile when u r happy, cry when u r sad...
maybe things are much better when they r simpler...
...
an ideal choice will always differ from the one u chose in the end
its not the matter that knowing too much of a person or the process of knowing her
its how u can accept her strengths, her weaknesses, her past , her pain, everythng abt her
u noe u cannot disappoint her, u noe wat she wan n wat she need
u give her security , love, concern
u let her love u for who u reali are
i guess it is the most impt in a relationship but well of coz
i wun wan to be some buggers who juz wan to put BGR by their mouths all day
or gal -crazy guys...n of coz guys who dun respect gals's bfs n for who they are
Gentlemen, please wake up ur ideas... or shd i even use the term' gentlemen' to describe u..
i guess most of the time who cant get a gf r those who cant even get themselves at all...
so u tin u r cool, hip, handsome but u r nothing when u dun see a gal wat she reali needs
u tin u can talk all day but u cant even understand wat she reali wan to hear
u tin u r dashing when u drive tat lexus but all she need is juz a ride back home with u in ur arms
of coz there are good guys out there.. but for some ... please... dun let the good guys down..
...
if u r with someone... well juz stick with tat someone... dun harbor thoughts of another person... 2-timers will get struck by lightning..
go for ppl u reali like.. n not for the sake of wanting to be with somebody...
love shd be a lovely affair... not a game with referee n spectators
...
Cherish wat u got....
...
at least i do
..
ask ursef ... .do u?

2006-01-06T00:53:00.000+08:00

im tired...
reali tired...
in some case, disillusioned
in some, reali gets me off

2006-01-05T02:32:00.000+08:00

my friend asked me this
' how many fails to make a right one '
well my answer to her
'believe in God'
..
its amazing tat she actuali ask me tis question
because she is the one who told me the answer not too far back
i hope she got wat i meant
juz like wat she wanted me to noe at tat moment of time
its talking like tis makes u feel tat
actually having a friend to support
is a blessing
...n to say..we din even go out together before
....
love makes the world go round
money makes the world go round
how about both make the world go round?
anyway i was drawn to believe money makes the world go round whn im single
but now both need each other to survive
u cant have love purely without the power of money
but u cant be happy with money without the enhance of love
everything is in a contradictory
a balance... yet who weigh it?
u ? ur partner?
happiness is weighed according to it?
i guess a ratio can be calculated? no?
if tts the case.... living became a chore?
or does loving come up with a price?
___________________________

balance is all about drawing a thin line
keeping the ratio
the right amount
cant do without each other

2006-01-02T02:21:00.001+08:00

of course.. a song to kick start the year... my all time favourite... dedicated to my baby raine...
its a wonder we have met...
for everything else... i noe
ive found u...
thank god for tis chance...
i juz nid to tell u that...
as we have say...
keep it simple
keep it going....
...love...
---------------
for those who are reading this... i hope u will find someone who can share this song with u..
coz i still believe in it...
I love the way you love me by Boyzone

I like the feel of your name on my lips
And I like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss
The way that your fingers run through my hair
And how your scent lingers even when you're not there
And I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh
And how you enjoy your two-hour bath
And how you've convinced me to dance in the rain
With everyone watching like we were insane

But I love the way you love me
Strong and wild, slow and easy
Heart and soul so completely
I love the way you love me

And I like the sound of old R 'n' B
And you roll your eyes when I'm sloppily off key
And I like the innocent way that you cry
At sappy old movies you've seen thousands of times
[CHORUS]
(Listen to me now..)
And I could list a million things
I love to like about you
But they could all come down to one reason
I could never live without you..
[CHORUS]

2006-01-02T02:07:00.001+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!

i hope all the people who read this will get peace n harmony
Great Health to u
Lovely memories
Exciting Adventure ahead for all of u
...
Year 2006
a brand new year
an exciting year of changing points
...
my Brother is getting married..
the 1st wedding in the family
of coz many people is turning the BIG 21.....my baby Raine.... SP Joey n the NTU gers....also my cousin
but of coz not to mention the departure of my Brother, John to Shanghai... gonna miss u bro
...
Wish all of u the best...
..
Meanwhile show u a gimpse of my life in the final days of 2005.....
...

my baby n me at East Coast Park on 30th December 2005....
at Changi Airport at 3.20am 1st January 2006....
n our Buffet Dinner!!!

2005-12-30T04:47:00.000+08:00

this is my favourite song
the lyrics is exactly how i feel

That's When I Love You by Aslyn

When u have to look away
When u don't have much to say
That's when I love u
I love u just that way
To here u stumble when u speak
Or see u walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love u endlessly
And when your mad cause u lost the game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love u I love u anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
U can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u When I love u
No matter what
So when u turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made u cry
That's when I love uI love u
A little more each time
And when u cant quite match you clothes
Or when u laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love u I love u
More then u know
And when u forgot that we had a date
Or that look that u give when u show up late
Baby I love u ,I love u anyway
So here's my promise made tonigh
tU can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
That's when I love u When I love u
No matter what
Ohh that's when I love u
when nothing baby, nothing u do could change my mind
The more I learn, the more I love, the more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u , when I love u no matter what
Ohhhh no matter what
...
the more i learn the more i love
the more my heart cant get enough
-this is exactly how i feel
im falling deeper n deeper
i pray for u to love me
the same way i do

2005-12-30T04:36:00.000+08:00

we had our 1st date with Just like heaven
i pray it will be like heaven
we have out 1st movie as a couple with the magic of Harry Potter
we have our 1st midnight with the sharp Aeon Flux
we have our 1st Christmas with the fantasy tale of Narnia
today we had King Kong
..
it occurs to me that ive watched plenty of movies...
but the best thing is to have someone to cuddle up with
that tenderness n closeness
the warmth in the face, the touch in the hands.
i realise im not alone in the cinema anymore
somebody is sharing that fantasy alongside with me
..
these days have been especially complete with the presence
it have been a while since i can open up to someone
someone i can put my heart to
i nid to let go of certain things
things i hope we can talk it over
but i do feel afraid
afraid of being alone once again
being hurt
being torn
too much tragedies going on
i tin i shd stop muddling in

2005-12-29T05:07:00.000+08:00

honestly speaking wats with the world today???
ok i was at zouk with my buddy john...
juz a lil push
somebody trying to find trouble... ok never mind....
thn tis real sweaty person is hitting on me the whole nite...
thn his buddy was trying to stand up for him..
n hello, i m 1 head taller than him n much bigger...
cant he understand the fact tat to pick someone of ur own size?
ok the worst is at the coffeeshop tis guy slap a gal ...
oh man...
i remember Prince Hector said in the movie 'Troy"
' Honour the Gods, Love ur woman, Defend ur country'
...
ok the 1st i dun nid to elaborate....
2nd, affairs, cheaters, playboys... when will ppl learn?
3rd, NS complaints... ok....
...
well
im determined tat a gal shd not be hit at all costs....
Eve was born to bring offspring n to provide a caring hand to them
but never she was abused by Adam...
y cant ppl juz stick with tat?
at all costs... ladies.. shd not be hit...
love them for the joy they bring to u
but if ever they do harm to u
juz shoot them
dun humilate them...
..
no im not changing the world...
but the world have changed
juz gonna live with it
...
sigh

2005-12-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

Constantly girl you're on my mind,
and girl I think about you all of the time
and even though words are hard to say,
girl I miss you, never thought I'd feel this way.
[BRIDGE]If you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?
You know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in baby can't you see that I need you?

[CHORUS]
You know that it's true.
Every time I see your face
I miss you baby
You know that it's you.
I want to let you know you're driving me crazy.
I'd do anything to help you to see,
I don't think you understand what you're doing to me.
You know that it's true.
Every now and then I want to call you baby.
You know that it's you.
I say a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.
Oh yeah. Life ain't anything alone can't you see you're an angel in my eyes,
everyday you're closer to me.
Nobody's there when I call your name,
and nights are cold girl without your flame.
But if I could girl I'd make you see.
That I'm sorry, and that I need you here with me.
[BRIDGE]
[CHORUS]
Every day reminisce with the past
of a love that we thought would last
. How we used to be when it was you and me.
How did it all disappear so fast.
There are days that I can't forget there are things that I now regret.
I was there for you when you were there for me, and I was thinkin' we were set.
Every night when I'm laying in my bed I hear your voice going round in my head,
think of all the thingsI could have done and all those things I could have said.
I really will make it up to you
I know now what I've got to do,
It took time but now I've realised how much I'm missing you.
[CHORUS]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

2005-12-25T23:00:00.000+08:00

well indeed this year is yet another smashing time for me
Christmas cannot be better than this
a great nite spent with my baby n her sisters
im so happy for her coz she has this group of great ppl behind her supporting her
but they r reali nice pple ....
the Twin.. Chaochia n Tzechia, bubbly Zhenjun, 'famous' xiaowei n her bf, Ashley, Shifa, Fuxiang n his gf , Minghui, Wanwen, Michelle n her Bf, K.....
well great nite at the bbq pit at WaterPlace..
even better after that with a stroll down Cosy Bay...
the best with Narnia to wrap it up n poor baby have to stand in my arms shielding her from the rain
but best of all, a Great Christmas spent
....
i will shield u from the rain, the wind, the storm,
for u ... i stand here
....
2 nites of bbq...
1 at a great house
1 at a great home
family gathering is always lovely...

2005-12-23T01:56:00.000+08:00

i juz wan to get away
how i wish i wasnt born
into this family
y pple dearest to u can turn so vicious?
y ppl whom u love so much
always turn to be the ones who hurt u the most?
its not tat i wan to flare up
its not tat i wan to raise my voice
i never ever raise my voice against ppl
y push me to the limit ?

2005-12-21T02:26:00.000+08:00

its amazing how ppl grow
u grow thru pain
happiness, memories
nites like this use to push me to a corner
let me feel tat im not important anymore
let it be lies
let it be a mirage
for everything i mite see may be an evolution
but i do believe
that wat i see now is truth
it slowly evolve into a fantasy
into a miracle u n me are waiting for
...
i gave mysef up 6 mths ago
i tot i will never ever love again
but gng 1 big round
i realise i shd never gave it up
coz it never gave up on me
or shd i say
it never leave at all
i mite have my reservations on some things
but truly everything is here
n its in my grasp
which i will never give up

never....

2005-12-20T01:03:00.000+08:00

Grey skies will clear itself someday
i hope ur smile do clear my tots
like u always have
...
heaved a sigh of relief
i noe
u r here
still mine
mine alone
..
i do appreciate wat u had done
n ur tried to do
i hope i can still walk down the road on n on
juz with u

2005-12-19T04:02:00.000+08:00

It’s a weird time I noe
Well was at the CC Christmas Party in the afternoon
Doing my part for the society
Saw the lovely children
Saw a glimpse of childhood I dreamt of
But never meant to be mine
It was strange that some things do not turn out the way u wan them to be
Was beaten
Was drained
Hit by a wave of feelings that Ive been experiencing
If u call it hopelessness
I say it is helplessness
Was strong
Being that took a lot from me
Myself to be exact
Pieces of me broken yet patched back
…
I should not make myself so blue
Yet again I can’t help feeling tat
The best thing is tat u noe it when nobody can help u
Though u wish for someone to pull u out
But yet u noe it will never happen
Coz the only person who can do tat is ursef
…
I have hurt
Ive been hurt
Nevertheless,
who is when
When is what
What is where
Where is why
Why is how
Many answers we seek don’t appear
The only thing we have is yet ourselves
People we love
Things we do
Faith we have
…
Im down & out
Burnt
Tired
Drained
Things that I choose to face it mysef

_______________________________________________

Christmas never meant much to me
I never had a chance to see it as a lovely day
The only memories I have is obligation
It’s a season to love n give
I gave
I tried hard
I wan to get into the mood
It lost me
Something struck me
I never tot it would be such a big impact in my life
It affects every step I take
Everywhere I turn, I cant let it go
I cant forget it
I wan a new life onwards
Isit tat difficult?
________________________________________________

Brother, let it go
It pains me everytime u r hurt by it
It juz doesn’t occur to me tat Im actuali affected by ur pain
But yes it does
I reali hope u can love again
Place ur trust in anther person
U noe she isn’t worth
So please dun let her do
___________________________________
I m feeling real bad
Reali reali bad
I dunno y tis feeling come
Its pain
Something I din recognize
For a long time
It shd not change some tings
But yet it may
How I wish I could be held now
Coz I noe I have lost it

2005-12-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

Sorry to my 2 dear friends
Haze n Zura
sorry... the chilli crab will come soon
...
Sorry to my Brother , John
i wasnt there when u need me
sorry
...
Sorry to my baby..
i cant be there when u r bored
i cant be there when u having sore throat
i cant be there when u need me
...
i reali wish a day can have more than 24 hours.

2005-12-10T04:23:00.000+08:00

hmm have been a long time since i last blog.... .
coz i juz purchased a PS 2!!!
wonder y i did it....
compulsive buying behaviour
despite my busy schedule
i tin i manage to squeeze out my precious sleeping time
to live in a fantasy world of games
well guys, i do need a breather at times...
to take away the toils of this strain
....
how i wish tat december will be much longer
but clock is ticking away
when January comes,
its juz the beginning of another chapter
another season of hard mugging,projects, new friends
marks an end to an eventful year
shall elaborate more of it on the last day of december
...
so much so
have been leading an unhealthy life lately
miss my friends.. sorry to be so busy lately..
shall promise individual times for all of u
before my lovely friends leave for GIP n Instep
looks like next semester will not be tat eventful
...
that look in my face
that smile u brought to me
if only time can turn back to tat moment
i wish it could last forever

2005-12-06T04:35:00.000+08:00

she said that there is an adjusted r-square value.. but no matter what.. the r-square value is still (ronson) ( raine )... so it doesnt matter the significance of the value coz we will never reject it.
but still the mystery is why is it 11 / 12...
baby u got to figure it out
....
26th June... i saw her...
she took my breath away
though it may not seems to have an answer
but actuali it slowly unfold into a fairy tale...
till fade..
i love it

My baby wrote this

2005-12-06T04:30:00.000+08:00

Finally Found - Honeyz
I can't believe you're here with me
And now it seems my world's complete
And I never want this moment to end
I close my eyes and still I see
My dreams become reality
And now I know how it feels to be in love
I prayed so many nights that you would come my way
An angel from above to light my darkest day
I think it's time for you to heed these lines'
Cos there's something I want to say
I finally found what I've been looking for
And now you know I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you (It's always been you)
To think that you were always there (always there)
To be my friend and wipe away my tears
Now it's clear that it's always been you
Sometimes you don't expect that friends
Can become lovers in the end
Only God knows what the future will bring
So hold me close and don't let go
'Cos this is love boy, don't you know?
And we're gonna be together for eternity
I prayed so many nights that you would come my way
An angel from above to light my darkest day
A love so strong it can't be wrong
It's with you that I belong

I finally found what I've been looking for (finally found)
And now you know I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you (It's always been you)
To think that you were always there ( you were always there)
To be my friend and wipe away my tears
Now it's clear that it's always been you (you)
(This time) this timeI'm gonna make sure it turns out right
I wanna be your everything and by your side
For the rest of my life (This love)
This love feels the way that love should be
Look in my eyes and realise there's no disguise
'Cos I'm in love with you
I finally found what I've been looking for
And now you know I'm going to love you more
Hold me tight 'cos it's always been you
To think that you were always there (you were always there)
To be my friend and wipe away my tears (Wipe away my tears)
Now it's clear that it's always been you
(It's always been you)
Till fade...
---baby, you're finally found.

2005-12-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

before chinablack....
...
went out with baby to shop
yup we r a kind... cannot go on specialised shopping trips
end up not getting anything...
..
then of coz met a group of gals... who i tin they are super lovely..
how could i miss such a group of lovely pple?
well
they do turn into a panel of judges
hmm
have to survive an ordeal..
but i noe...
i will pass with flying colours...
rite, baby?
...
its lovely to see the pple around u
n they r happy for u
it means lots to me
coz its u