i tin this is a big joke...
being trying to face it ...
but it always hit u at ur most unexpected moment..
it juz wan to come back n haunt u
not allowing u to live properly, not allowing u to breathe properly
y would pple be so merciless.?
y would everything have to crumble when its on the way to its top?
or m i juz letting it to affect me when i should not be?
shd i take a backseat to see how things unfold itself?
what shd i do?

2:46 PM; unforgotten.Y

today is a nite where all my thoughts caught up with me...
its like sweetness + bitterness all in a coffee cup
suddenly its juz like tearing me up
yet on the other side is putting my life into shape
its such a mixed feelings where everything juz turn upside down , where truth become lies
where everything juz revealed itself to me
its not a sad feeling... but cant help feeling down...
its not a happy feeling... but cant help smiling to myself
its not tat easy to describe tat feeling truly...
i dunno how to face it.. but yet im handling it...
giving me a reali hard time but yet not feeling the strain
gave up yet holding on
...
moving forward... but cant help looking back
its taking a big toll of me but im still shouldering everything on my own
not sad... not down... juz feeling tis way....
what a night....

10:17 PM; unforgotten.Y

im wondering ...
how many times are there in a person's life that promises are made
how many time are they being made.. n yet broken
...
if promises are made to be broken
then y made promises?
if things tat happen for a reason...
what are the purposes for promises...

7:47 PM; unforgotten.Y

1st paper...

Start earlier than all, end later than all
something muz be very wrong with the system but anyway... its ok
taking things at my own stride... its getting alright...
the route is tough however i still have to walk it...
juz hope that nothing is taking anything away....

good luck my fellow school mates...

12:07 PM; unforgotten.Y

time and time again
things always happen..
its always the same old things tat keep repeating in ur life
sometimes until to the very fact... u get so tired of it.. u wan to get out of it.
i guess life is a bitch .. it juz irks u at times where u reali wish u can give it a good hard kick
but that means kicking the bucket...
anyway.. right now , im juz plain tired.... the fatigue is catching up on me...
everything is not smooth as they were... got to accept it
if there is anything tat i can do.. is to keep my chin up high...
becoz i noe tat there is someone who is waiting for me...
only at times.. u realise ur real friends... ur real love...
it might not be far..
it might juz beside u all the while...
juz not to engulf in self pity... i guess life is pretty much the same....
perhaps.. i shd not be in a position to speak of love... but then again..
i like to think that everyone has a right to be loved n love...
i like to think that everyone has a right to be happy..
its a matter of choices...
its juz so simple... n how could i let my rationale block out my emotions...
sigh... humans err..
nothing we can stop...
only way to salvage is perhaps learning from it...
given a choice... i may not have walked this route...
but until now.. i have only 1 route n tat is forward...

2:49 AM; unforgotten.Y

i dun understand when pple say forever...
is it a lifetime? or eternal?
its like a flame.. can it burn forever?
U need both fuel and oxygen to keep it burning..
right, now i wan to tink that it will keep burning
however, the oxygen is taken away...
leaving the flame dead n oso suffocating me

12:06 PM; unforgotten.Y

1:58 PM; unforgotten.Y

Its funny how things will turn out in ways that you will never expect.
Its really like divinity at its work
and the vicious cycle of life is present in its most simple way
things that i dun understand turn out to be felt by myself
in a way , it gave me a chance to accept things for they are
in another way, there is also a dilemma of what is going to happen next
Nobody tell the future or even so as things begin to unfold, it seems that the mind is no longer in control
its hard to feel how u think , or to think for how u feel.
Until there is a time u can tell urself that, the time has lost its essence
sometimes i do ponder about whether is there something like perfection
or it is just another imagination that humans gave themselves hope
Its hard for another person to understand how u really feel
when u start to build a wall to block out everyone
juz when u tot someone is even close, u build it higher
little ironies of life...
at the time where everything seems so perfect, juz 1 little thing went wrong , the whole wall collapse..
its no longer a matter of worthiness, commitment.
it can juz be a moment of folly or rather a question of ur own beliefs..
i do wonder when pple learn, did they evolve from who they are or they extend from who they are..
if change is imminent, then y do it work on opposite sides?

4:04 AM; unforgotten.Y

Now is 4.20 am....
the most difficult time of a night
it is so real when u r all alone facing ur own thoughts..
ur own feelings...
ur ownself....

4:27 AM; unforgotten.Y

have been slumping into indecision nowadays
been walking ard the house in circles,
been walking on the streets in circles
....
a moment of laughter
a moment of sadness
a moment of longing
a moment of numbness
...
its hard to really tell how a person is feeling becoz I myself dun even noe how im feeling
its like how hard u try, there is some force stopping u from feeling.. some barriers but still u dun wan to give up trying until u hit the wall.

I guess I learnt the hard way...

10:50 AM; unforgotten.Y

枫

乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
Dark clouds cast a shadow over our hearts
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
I listen intently to the feelings that have long been silenced
清晰透明
Distinct and clear
就像美丽的风景
Just like a beautiful landscape
总在回忆里才看得清
That can only be clearly seen in one's memories
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
Can a heart that's been thoroughly wounded continue to love me?
我用力牵起没温度的双手
I tried hard to hold (your) cold hands
过往温柔
The tenderness in the past
已经被时间上锁
Is locked in time
只剩挥散不去的难过
All that's left are sadness that cannot be dispersed
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
Longing is like maple leaves, slowly drifting down
我点燃烛光温暖岁末的秋天
I light a candle to warm this year-end's autumn
极光掠夺天边
The aurora steals across the horizon
北风掠过想你的容颜
The north wind flits across the face that's thinking of you
我把爱烧成了落叶
Ashes from my burning heart falls like leaves
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
But I can never regain (your) familiar face again
缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
Longing is like maple leaves, slowly drifting down
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
Why must I try to recover all before winter arrives?
爱你穿越时间
My love for you transcends all time
两行来自秋末的眼泪
Two streams of tears that were shed for the autumn's end
让爱渗透了地面
Let the love flood through
我要的只是你在我身边
I just want you by my side
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
Can a heart that's been thoroughly wounded continue to love me?
我用力牵起没温度的双手
I tried hard to hold (your) cold hands
过往温柔
The tenderness in the past
已经被时间上锁
Is locked in time
只剩挥散不去的难过
All that's left are sadness that cannot be dispersed
在山腰间飘逸的红雨
The lush mountainside forest
随著北风凋零
Withers in the North Wind
我轻轻摇曳风铃
I sway the windchime gently
想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
Attempting to awaken this abandoned love
雪花已铺满了地
Snowflakes have already covered the ground
深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰
Fearing that the maple leaves outside the window are already frozen

12:21 PM; unforgotten.Y

My bro's nick " Its funny that humans can be so merciless"
My nick " if my eyes can see, why din they tell me?"
....
well, often we are twisted by fate, by life, by everything...
some things u feel that is right at the moment doesnt seems rite to u now...
some things u feel like doing it but now u feel disgusted by it...
i guess the irony in life brought us into a lot of contradictions to ourselves...
it never seems to have a best time for everything
it oso never seems like there is a continuity in everything...
humans change over time.. things change over time..
feelings change.. love changes...
but 1 thing i noe for sure tat will never change ... ur belief....
there are a lot of pple who lost their faith in a certain thing... they try to run away from it... thinking it will never catch up with them however they are wrong.. they din chose to believe it in the 1st place.... tats y they lose faith...

someone told me' love is sacrifice.. if there is no love, there is no sacrifice'
i wonder how true it is.... when u completely love a person.. u gave in to everything.. u make him/her happy.. u change...then after a while.. u decide tat is not who u are.. u regret giving in...then u say tat love has faded... is it reali love can juz fade over time... or is it juz plain selfishness? then wat is true love?

sometimes i wonder... is everyone living in false illusion or escaping reality?

if judgement was made at the cross... nobody shd be suffering..but y still there is suffering?

the more i accept reality, the more i tink that its no worth for it

5:42 AM; unforgotten.Y

This Ain't A Love Song
-Bon Jovi


I should have seen it coming when roses died
Should have seen the end of summer in your eyes
I should have listened when you said good night
You really meant good bye
Baby, ain't it funny, how you never ever learn to fall
You're really on your knees, when you think you're standing
tall
But only fools are "know-it-alls" and I played
that fool for you
I cried and I cried
There were nights that died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy,
baby
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong, this ain't a love song
Baby, I thought you and me would stand the test of time
Like we got away with the perfect crime but
We were just a legend in my mind
I guess that I was blind
Remember those nights dancing at the masquerade
The clowns wore smiles that wouldn't fade
You and I were the renegades, some things never change
It made me so mad 'cause I wanted it bad for us baby
Now it's so sad that whatever we had, ain't worth saving
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I've cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yes I'm wrong, this ain't a love song
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you baby
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy
If the love that I got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't no love song
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
If the pain that I'm feeling so strong
Is the reason that I'm holding on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song
Yes, I'm wrong, yeah, I'm wrong - this ain't a love song

11:43 AM; unforgotten.Y

i was awoken up by a terrible nightmare
they say if u tink too much, it evolve into dreams
if u r too negative, it evolve into nightmares
i dreamt about you,
i dreamt about you 1 year before
why do they clash now?

8:23 AM; unforgotten.Y

every step i take is juz another mistake to u
even when the going reali get tough, the more u try to resist, the more resistent it gets...
sometime in life, u reali wan to grab hold on something but then again, the more u try to get it, the more it run away from u.. i guess fate is 1 good example.

I held on becoz i noe n i believe in it... too much of it make me too focused on the future n not looking at the present.. although u try to make things work again.. the feelings are gone... is it really true tat feelings can juz disappear like tat? or is it tat it cant even stand the test of time? why does it have to happen when a person is super low in his life? is it his luck or wat...

now i understand that bad things come in a bundle...it never end until it get more, it end when it shd end until it take away everything from u and for u to rebuild tat life back again with ur 2 hands

11:41 PM; unforgotten.Y

Its interesting to know more about pple... recently, i have been talking to a lot of pple.. pple whom i din talked with for a long while.. i realised how much have i missed out..anyway my life has a void now.. i noe i can achieve everything in my life but still there is nothing i can do about this void.. its waiting for somebody to complete my life... but anyway... the focus need to be changed...I noe something are never meant to be but then again.. timing is all it take to make things worse.. for now... i juz have to keep on believing in fate..

Life is still unfair... but then again.. Doraemon n Peter Pan are here

1:38 AM; unforgotten.Y

This is the picture I like
It shows a man in pain
A man who have pain.. still carry on
for the things he believe in, for the things he want to have

He still have his worth...

1:15 AM; unforgotten.Y

There are some points in life where you feel down , pressurized by everything around you.. you feel like giving up but ur brain and ur mind is fighting a battle. one to say let go, one to say stop, which one to listen to ? you claimed to do the right thing but is there ever a right thing in life to do? what is right , what is wrong ... or is it something as simple as following your heart? juz do when u like it ? if not then juz try doing something that u tin it will work? or it wun? do u make ur mind suppress of all the emotions that u originally feel? do u give ursef a false impression that this is the right thing to do? do u do what ur mind tell u or what ur brain tell u? is emotions guiding the mind or the rationale guiding the heart? what is what? im so confused... Life is not smooth sailing , i noe tat ... n there are pple out there juz trying to undo u from ur current life... to disrupt for what they want ? what is their motive? cant a person live with moral obligations? can u tell ur heart to stop loving? y are there so many questions in life? im still puzzled as much as disturbed...

7:17 AM; unforgotten.Y

for the 1st time in my life,
I kneel down to the altar in my house
I ask Buddha, wat is happening?
Y is this happening?

I asked for forgiveness
I asked for hope
I asked for punishment
I asked for your happiness

She din really tell me much
She looked into me
She tell to my heart

She want this to continue
She will punish me
She will give u happiness
for once, i really feel so amazed
...
i could feel the change in me
i juz feel so much trust in u
i reali felt tat i have changed
i have changed to understand all of this, to understand you
the support for u in me is boundless..
too much to be described..

I guess divinity and love work in mysterious ways

12:15 AM; unforgotten.Y

2 people meet at the cross road...
they are happy and blissful
they feel that the whole world is at their feet
then to turn out... there are differences
Is differences really that difficult to be untangled?
to llove n live with somebody.. giving up ursef or accomodating to each other
is it a balance thingy again?
both will feel tiredness and dun wan to continue anymore.
Is this tiredness really unable to be revived?
Is love something that cannot be rekindled?
Is it when 1 party say goodbye, the other party can really accept it?

I feel that with perseverence, we can definitely see this out
we can see this bad patch out
but somehow my view is not being accepted
is it that our love is so brittle tat it cant withstand the test ?
or is it there is no way to give time for each other for another chance?
is it we are juz getting impatient with each other or us?
u wan to let go, n i have to see u go..
do u noe u took the smile on my face away with u?
u took the smile in my heart with u?
i accept ur view not because i agree with u, its because i love u...
Does agreement and love can live together?

...
Im reali upset for the things to turn out this way...
this is never meant to be like tat
but then again, i have to accept it
whatever will come will come..
I still believe that we have a future together
we are juz on 2 curving converging lines, we met once .. there will be another time

5:02 PM; unforgotten.Y