they say situations made a man
i believe in that
coz the ordeals recently drive me into a new set of thinking
i guess im gng back into my skeptical ways
about people, things and the world
well its ironic that the very same things that pull me out put me back
but then again looking at it
it cant be helped
juz like the ways of the world
or rather some things that we cant change
people we cant change
cant change the mindset
things we cant change its nature
it drive ppl crazy
it drive a wedge bte pple
it create this crack tat will exist all the time
not only for now
but for evey moment u will be in
i tot of tat
tot of giving up
giving up a fight without even trying is not my style
so i din
but then again i see wat im fighting for
it is worth it
it definitely worth it
...
yes we cant judge things at its cover
but then again u look into it
u wun wan to noe the underlying meaning
but y do pple have to have their ways
when they noe its selfish
when they noe it will be detrimental to others
but then again they insist on it
n then it bring hurt to so many others
...
all i noe im gng back to my old ways
of being so suspicious
of being skeptical
of living in tis small hole i have for mysef
but then again
i ask mysef wat drive me tat way
then i realise wat u took for serious
doesnt mean serious for others
n they judge u on cover or simply compare u to the past
where u dun belong there nor it belong here
but still they wun be given up because its human nature
then again, the world is never fair...
till then... its juz me...

11:45 PM; unforgotten.Y

All bad things are imminent
no matter what are we going to do
or whatever there is going to happen
we dun have control over it
...
even there is a belief on everything
but look again,
nobody can foresee future
if he/she can, then everybody will strike 4D
...
its all up to ourselves
we wan to believe it anot
y hold onto something so dearly that u noe it might not happen
i still think that people wan to hear good things and not bad ones
...
Of course its gng to be a bad year...
for everyone...
so many modules...
so many projects..
little time..
how to do well
...
y make urself so tired to please everybody
when u cant please everyone...
y dun juz please the ppl ard u
those who u love
whose pple who love u
...
if u find urself torn apart...
look again at the subject matter....
its always abt urself
ur well being for now
or ur well being for long
tat is y no one can pull u out
but juz to decide on ur own
there is no fixed way abt doing it right
there is no textbook answers
there is only one answer
how u reali feel
...
everybody is afraid of losing someone
who dun hold on dearly to who they love
but then again... holding on doesnt mean u have to possess her
it does not work tat way
it should not
...
these few days juz bombarded by work
school is crazy
personal life is hectic
but still im sitting in front of the comp
blogging away...
im tired... yes...
my temper is short... yes
but still im the same Ronson here
i never change...
maybe some view points
but no
i din change at all..
its juz tis period
a reali hectic March
...

9:35 PM; unforgotten.Y

i came across something which have been triggering my mind for a long time
something called expectations
for a moment i tot to be the best in the business
to live up to everyone's light
but in another sense, i fell in the category of unwant, undeserved
well, it cant be helped if the grey area cannot be drawn clearly
or rather it is juz another contradictary thing which we live with everyday
it is no longer the kind that those u think that it will be there when u need it
but rather a kind of rambling that u will stumble upon any moment now
i fail to understand
from the surface of it
i cannot put myself in the shoes of others to think
but instead i created a platform for myself to jump in
however, this platform seems to be higher n higher everytime i try to access to it
is it that i raise the height or the ladder to it become longer?
is it that my legs can no longer carry myself up or isit that the burden on my back is getting heavier?
....
the past few days are full of highs n lows
i guess its like this in life
where it is like a roller coaster ride
especially the moments where u noe ur life is no longer occupied by ur own
u put other's emotions in u
u feel for other
its like tat u can no longer think straight
or rather gave ursef a chance to sink in with the effect
its not harmful but its contagious
i guess it goes well with time when everything is no longer fixed
its only until the moment tat appear in ur face
then maybe light is drawn upon
but to the rest, its juz another stage that we need to get by
...
March is here n the busy month has juz started
mounted with school but also personal events.
it should be a joyous n happy month
hope everyone do feel the same

2:27 AM; unforgotten.Y

10:39 PM; unforgotten.Y

11:20 PM; unforgotten.Y